found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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