you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
