Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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