Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
