brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
