the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
