He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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