Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
