My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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