used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf βIβm wfh tomrw. Nooner? π¦β
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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