i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
