You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
