was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
