Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
