You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
