please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
