At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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