look no pants
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
