I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I hope mine doesn't look like that
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
