Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
