Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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