a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
