But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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