Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
