What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
