The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
