The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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