After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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