no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
