dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
