8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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