Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
