If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
