i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
