the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
