you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
