i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I love having hate sex.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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