i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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