I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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