am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
