Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
This is the high leading the old right now
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
