just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
