omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
