So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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