i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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