Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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