I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
