i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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