He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
