Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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