We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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