There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My vagina just clenched in fear
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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