try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
being pregnant is like rehab
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Ladies don't puke and tell
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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