R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
