I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
