there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
