I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
