You can't motorboat a personality
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
