hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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