He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
