I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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